After having a week off between semesters, I am back in full force! The test I submitted on my first day back, this past Tuesday, I received a 94.48%!! I need 95% to pass. It has to be at least 95%. As my husband doesn't seem to understand, they can't just "give it to me" because I'm close. It has to be a minimum of 95% on the nose or it doesn't pass. But, just seeing how close I got, I am that much more motivated, and I know, I just know I will be out of here within the next few weeks.
P.S. We didn't get to test on Thursday because our computer program wasn't working, then the internet went down, then we had another minor setback, oh say...a tornado warning! All of a sudden it starts pouring down rain, rain like I've never seen it before, trees blowing so hard they were almost sideways, lightning, thunder, etc. We immediately had to pack up and take cover in the hallway away from all windows and doors. We sat there for about an hour while the storm passed. By that time it was time to go home, but even still, the computers weren't working, so there was no way for us to test anyways.
Hope Tuesday is much better!!!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Thursday, May 12, 2011
ROLLING WITH THE PUNCHES...
Well, this has been quite an interesting semester. Not at all what I expected. I thought for sure I would be done and celebrating this last week of finals. Quite the contrary. I am STILL in need of these last three tests.
There is absolutely no excuse why I couldn't have gotten this done by now. I can list some factors that have contributed to my failure after failure after failure, but there are still no excuses, and in no way am I justifying my lack of success this semester.
NERVES, NERVES, NERVES....will I ever get a handle on my nerves? I have put so much pressure on myself trying to get out of here that I think it really hindered my progress this semester. What was scaring me is the idea of having to pay an unreasonable amount of money to repeat this class just for three tests. That took up a lot of space in my mind and caused so much undue anxiety on me, I can't even express it. As time widdled away, the pressure mounted. It became so overwhelming; I can't really describe the emotions I've gone through over the last month or so.
Finally, within the last few weeks, I had a long talk with myself and came to terms with having to repeat this class. I'm not happy about it at all; who would be? But these are the cards I was dealt. Besides my nerves getting the best of me, I truly believe I gave these tests my very best effort. I have been doing all my homework each week and then some. I did everything within my power to accomplish this goal, and I've come to the realization that it's just not my time yet.
On a positive note, here's what has transpired in the last few weeks or so. I attended the PCRA convention and sat in on all four of Mark Kislingbury's seminars. He is amazing. Genius, really. An inspiration, to say the least. He validated everything I believed to be true about this field, but was either told I was wrong, or for some other reason or another thought I was cheating or breaking the rules somehow. Because of him, I have a new found glimmer of hope and motivation to keep on going. I immediately started implementing some minor changes in the way I do things, and have really, really honed in on my briefs. I am trying to brief anything and everything I can. The only way I can write faster is if I write shorter, and that's what I intend to do!
Another positive note, I have a job!! I can't even believe I'm saying that! I'm really excited about it and cannot wait to get started. I met a wonderful lady who owns an agency, and we talked for quite a while. She shares my same passion of wanting to be active in the workforce, while at the same time being the best wife and mother she can be. As we all know, working full-time and being a full-time mother doesn't always, who am I kidding, "never" goes well together. In all my years of working, I've learned...I'm either an employee or I'm a mom, I cannot be the best at both. Unfortunately, I've always been the best employee I can be while trying to "survive" motherhood. So when she told me I could work AND be the best mother I could be, I was sold. She totally gets it. I will start my internship this summer doing half of the requirement at her agency, and the other half in the courthouse. Needless to say, I can't wait to get started.
As for where I'm at with my progress...again, I need 95% to pass. I'm riding the 90%-92% bandwagon at the moment. I seem to be arriving at the station just as the 95% train is leaving. I don't want to be left behind anymore. The speed is not fast. It could be slower, but it's not fast. It is within my reach. Again, there are no excuses why I can't obtain this goal. I need to calm my nerves, build my confidence back up, and quit the negative self-talk that runs rampid in my head as soon as the tests start. I need to hang on to every single word. I need to not give up just because I misstroke a word. I can do this and I'm ready to do this.
Tonight is the last night of the semester. I have a week off and then back to the grind. This time I mean business. Well, I meant business before, but this time 225 is going down. 225 won't even have a chance to put its mouthpiece in, get a pep talk from the coach, or even get in a few practice punches. 225 is going down before the bell even rings.
Attraversiamo!
There is absolutely no excuse why I couldn't have gotten this done by now. I can list some factors that have contributed to my failure after failure after failure, but there are still no excuses, and in no way am I justifying my lack of success this semester.
NERVES, NERVES, NERVES....will I ever get a handle on my nerves? I have put so much pressure on myself trying to get out of here that I think it really hindered my progress this semester. What was scaring me is the idea of having to pay an unreasonable amount of money to repeat this class just for three tests. That took up a lot of space in my mind and caused so much undue anxiety on me, I can't even express it. As time widdled away, the pressure mounted. It became so overwhelming; I can't really describe the emotions I've gone through over the last month or so.
Finally, within the last few weeks, I had a long talk with myself and came to terms with having to repeat this class. I'm not happy about it at all; who would be? But these are the cards I was dealt. Besides my nerves getting the best of me, I truly believe I gave these tests my very best effort. I have been doing all my homework each week and then some. I did everything within my power to accomplish this goal, and I've come to the realization that it's just not my time yet.
On a positive note, here's what has transpired in the last few weeks or so. I attended the PCRA convention and sat in on all four of Mark Kislingbury's seminars. He is amazing. Genius, really. An inspiration, to say the least. He validated everything I believed to be true about this field, but was either told I was wrong, or for some other reason or another thought I was cheating or breaking the rules somehow. Because of him, I have a new found glimmer of hope and motivation to keep on going. I immediately started implementing some minor changes in the way I do things, and have really, really honed in on my briefs. I am trying to brief anything and everything I can. The only way I can write faster is if I write shorter, and that's what I intend to do!
Another positive note, I have a job!! I can't even believe I'm saying that! I'm really excited about it and cannot wait to get started. I met a wonderful lady who owns an agency, and we talked for quite a while. She shares my same passion of wanting to be active in the workforce, while at the same time being the best wife and mother she can be. As we all know, working full-time and being a full-time mother doesn't always, who am I kidding, "never" goes well together. In all my years of working, I've learned...I'm either an employee or I'm a mom, I cannot be the best at both. Unfortunately, I've always been the best employee I can be while trying to "survive" motherhood. So when she told me I could work AND be the best mother I could be, I was sold. She totally gets it. I will start my internship this summer doing half of the requirement at her agency, and the other half in the courthouse. Needless to say, I can't wait to get started.
As for where I'm at with my progress...again, I need 95% to pass. I'm riding the 90%-92% bandwagon at the moment. I seem to be arriving at the station just as the 95% train is leaving. I don't want to be left behind anymore. The speed is not fast. It could be slower, but it's not fast. It is within my reach. Again, there are no excuses why I can't obtain this goal. I need to calm my nerves, build my confidence back up, and quit the negative self-talk that runs rampid in my head as soon as the tests start. I need to hang on to every single word. I need to not give up just because I misstroke a word. I can do this and I'm ready to do this.
Tonight is the last night of the semester. I have a week off and then back to the grind. This time I mean business. Well, I meant business before, but this time 225 is going down. 225 won't even have a chance to put its mouthpiece in, get a pep talk from the coach, or even get in a few practice punches. 225 is going down before the bell even rings.
Attraversiamo!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
